Falling Apart

I recall a time, a few years ago, when I offered Healing Touch to a friend who was going through a stressful situation and not feeling well.

After I worked with her she shared some of what had been going on and said, “I pride myself on being able to keep it all together, and I couldn’t do it”.

On top of the situation stressors she was dealing with, her belief system was creating additional stress.

Not only was she frustrated with the external situation, her internal relationship was adding to her stress.

This is a common perspective, perhaps you hold this one near and dear…”I must keep it together.”

Keeping it Together May be Overrated

May sound strange, but I value my ability to let things ‘fall apart’.

I also appreciate my realization that I don’t have to go it alone, as well as my learned and practiced ability to create support for myself.

I can now identify self defeating inner messages that are not true and certainly do not serve me.

I used to think I could manage everything – my Wonderwoman syndrome – until I crashed and burned 25 years ago…the result of prolonged stress and my erroneous belief system.

I was laid so low I could barely breathe, let alone ‘keep it all together’.

My Best is Good Enough

One of my favorite daily affirmations reads. “In any given moment I am doing my best. My best can change.”

Given this perspective I less frequently guilt, reproach or  ‘should’ on myself.

My best is good enough right now. In fact, my best may be amazing, under the circumstances of the moment.

Let Those Feelings Go

I am huge proponent of not repressing feelings.

I have found stuffing my feelings is a guaranteed ticket to not feeling well. A Network chiropractor I saw in the 1990’s, before my crash and burn, used to say his work wasn’t about feeling better, it was about ‘better feeling’.

I find when I allow myself to pay attention to what I am feeling and then express those feelings, I am more focused and open to receiving intuition or spiritual guidance.

One of the support systems I have created is a core group of individuals who embrace this concept as well and are my caring, listening ears. We do this for each other.

I did ‘fall apart’ in December 1994.

Then, after 3 months of off the grid resource exploration, and much personal work,

I came together.

Falling apart was the pre-requisite to deep healing.

Because of that experience I was better equipped to face a devastating divorce in 2002 and the prolonged illness, then death, of my ‘second time around’, beloved husband, in 2013.

I faced those situations allowing myself, when the timing was appropriate, to fall apart and to reach out for support.

I chose to recover in my way, knowing myself and what was best for me, accessing tried and true resources and support.

Do you allow yourself to express your feelings? Have you experienced the value in falling apart? Have you discovered facets of your personal belief system that do not serve your highest good? Do you have the haven of a strong support system? If not, what would it take for you to develop one or what would stand in your way?

I would love to hear from you.